Parakeets will be exterminated.
LimeBike, Inc. will be proscribed as a terrorist group.
At the end of TV programmes, the credits will not be shrunk or spoken over.
Street signs will be mounted on walls and buildings, not supported by separate signposts.
Taps will be long enough so that it is possible to wash one’s hands without touching the back of the basin.
Organisations will refer to ‘passengers’, ‘diners’, ‘drinkers’, etc., not ‘customers’.
The manufacture of labels that leave glue behind when pealed off will be outlawed.
The BBC Sounds audio ident (‘music, radio, podcasts’) will never again be heard.
Wooing at public events will be discouraged.
Streaming services will subtitle non-English scenes by default.
Continuity announcers on TV and radio will be prohibited from making comments that fall into one or more of the following categories: breezy, ironic, knowing, chatty, twee.
Blue Christmas lights will be banned.
There will be more benches, public lavatories, and drinking fountains.
Car horns will not be used except to avoid danger by alerting people to the presence of a car that they haven’t noticed.
Street lighting will come on later, to preserve the gloaming.
Liberalism for the well-behaved; authority for the slovenly.
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This is far better than the (problematic!!!) Communist Manifesto...but parakeets are cute!!